Today is my daughter Azaleas first day of Kindergarten. It was actually supposed to start yesterday, however, most of the city was out of power and school was cancelled before we even officially started.

I cried the first day of preschool, I was so scared to send her to school. We drive 20-30 minutes to school depending on traffic. I know, what kind of crazy person does that? It would be easier to send her to a school closer to hoe but I heard so many great things about her school from other families around us who do the same thing. That first day I didn’t want to leave the parking lot just in case she needed me. This year for Kindergarten I was ready for her to go to school, she loved preschool so I thought she would love Kindergarten.

As the start of school got closer we found out she’s not in the same class as her preschool BFF’s. No big deal, she will make new friends. Since we drive her to school she is considered a “walker.” In preschool I took her inside to the cafeteria where she lined up with her teacher. This year I have to drop her off at the door, thee will be someone to help her line up with her class but I still panicked on the inside. I explained to Azalea what will happen before and after school, she said okay. That’s it, just okay. I’m glad she didn’t freak out, maybe I was doing that for the both of us.

She said goodbye to me once I dropped her off and didn’t look back. I didn’t get a hug or a kiss, she walked away to line up with her class. I don’t know if she was putting on a brave face or if she was really ready for today and I’m grateful I have never had to fight with her and watch tears fall down her cheeks but an “I’ll miss you” might have been nice.

Admit it, we freak out more than our kids. We hide it but we still do it. I know during the summers I’ll be counting down to that first day of school and once that first day comes I’m going to freak out on the inside wondering and hoping they are having a good day.